I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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