Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
