what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
