"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
