I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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