yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
