she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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