just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
