your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize