Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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