you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
