So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
