Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
