we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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