I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
