someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
