Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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