using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
