You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize