Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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