how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
