How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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