Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Its about making memories worth repressing
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
