her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
