Me too!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
