I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
