just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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