we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
