I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
