he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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