would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
