I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
