is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
