where am i from again
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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