Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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