thus making me awesome and them whores
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
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And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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