I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
