Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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