New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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