ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
