she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize