dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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