it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
