he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
