you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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