You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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