i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
