Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
