Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
