O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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