He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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