Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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