i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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