I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.