Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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(845): View more from New York

i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.

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(954): View more from Florida

The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

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(813): View more from Florida

If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure

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(318): View more from Louisiana

U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.

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