it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.