Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

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(773): I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it http://tfl.nu/d3ej

Replies (2) Good night (2136) Bad night (917)
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(503): View more from Oregon

what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?

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(503): what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage? http://tfl.nu/3y3m

Replies (35) Good night (824) Bad night (3490)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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(860): Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out? http://tfl.nu/i8pt

Replies (5) Good night (865) Bad night (4111)
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(540): View more from Virginia

so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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(540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it... http://tfl.nu/rkx1

Replies (66) Good night (1472) Bad night (7194)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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(541): Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends. http://tfl.nu/3u3d

Replies (19) Good night (3877) Bad night (685)
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(415): View more from California

i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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(415): i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break. http://tfl.nu/4rzb

Replies (16) Good night (1300) Bad night (4295)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

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(781): At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like http://tfl.nu/8q6a

Replies (18) Good night (1678) Bad night (4999)
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(516): View more from New York

watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...

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(516): watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball... http://tfl.nu/7xuo

Replies (26) Good night (6912) Bad night (1062)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My cha cha got a haircut

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

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(814): My cha cha got a haircut (724): thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf http://tfl.nu/cixh

Replies (34) Good night (1512) Bad night (9347)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.

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(708): Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected. http://tfl.nu/ilck

Replies (53) Good night (1314) Bad night (10850)
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(518): View more from New York

Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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(518): Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy. http://tfl.nu/6ng1

Replies (5) Good night (3914) Bad night (894)
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(231): View more from Michigan

using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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(231): using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/yfpy

Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (2135)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "

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(317): I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time " http://tfl.nu/0ln5

Replies (4) Good night (977) Bad night (433)
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(360): View more from Washington

A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.

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(360): A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy. http://tfl.nu/u51s

Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (283)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!

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(501): No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar! http://tfl.nu/p74j

Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (316)

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