Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.