Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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  (248): I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/icyg
  Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (2686)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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  (501): he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/mrvl
  Replies (21) Good night (4377) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

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  (330): Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket? http://tfl.nu/lptb
  Replies (48) Good night (1823) Bad night (7477)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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  (303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o
  Replies (14) Good night (6197) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

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  (401): Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas http://tfl.nu/kaq5
  Replies (1) Good night (1737) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I have vodka in my lungs

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  (206): I think I have vodka in my lungs http://tfl.nu/shpx
  Replies (4) Good night (2041) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified

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  (603): More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified http://tfl.nu/si7g
  Replies (5) Good night (1613) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.

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  (512): i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me. http://tfl.nu/wgh1
  Replies (11) Good night (2165) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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  (+41): She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool" http://tfl.nu/0b6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1655) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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  (605): When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots http://tfl.nu/ud2p
  Replies (7) Good night (1414) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  i think i broke my dog last night...fuck

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  (319): i think i broke my dog last night...fuck http://tfl.nu/y38t
  Replies (6) Good night (526) Bad night (1843)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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  (831): to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal http://tfl.nu/c7f7
  Replies (6) Good night (665) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now

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  (425): I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now http://tfl.nu/j4rg
  Replies (4) Good night (971) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.

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  (585): Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house. http://tfl.nu/r6xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1354) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.

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  (609): Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents. http://tfl.nu/lxxo
  Replies (5) Good night (696) Bad night (426)

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