I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
