i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
