I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We don't watch enough power rangers
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
