Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
